Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i wish my penis had a tongue
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
