no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
