Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
