so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
