It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
