we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
