i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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