is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
