I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
