Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
