i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
