But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
