btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
