I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
