im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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