That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
