I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
