I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
