so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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