I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
