Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
