i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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