She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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