He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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