well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
