I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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