He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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