I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
