How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm really busy with my period
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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