you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
