i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
