Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
