covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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