I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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