M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
