And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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