Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
