I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
