Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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