Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
