i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
