I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
