i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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