i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
