I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
