The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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