Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
