Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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