that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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