so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
