My underwear smells like fireworks.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
